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If Dogs could Send a Letter to God...

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?

Dear God,
These are just some of the things I must remember (in order to keep my present living arrangements):

  • The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
  • I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
  • I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
  • I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • We do not have a doorbell. - I will not bark each time I hear one on television.
  • I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with them.
  • The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
  • I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  • I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath.
  • Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
  • I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
  • The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply, and just because the water is blue, doesn't mean it's cleaner.
  • I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
  • I will remember that suddenly turning around and smelling my rear end can quickly clear a room.
  • The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Best Dog Breeds For Your Family

If you're thinking about getting a dog, you should bear in mind that some breeds will be better for you than others.

The Early Show's resident veterinarian, Dr. Debbye Turner, offers insight on some of the nation's most popular breeds, to help you determine which might be best for your lifestyle, personality, home and family.

Labrador Retrievers
Labs are a member of the sporting group. They are naturally athletic, high-energy, and intelligent. They are genetically engineered to retrieve: birds, tennis balls, a stick, you name it.

They require a significant amount of attention. If they are left alone or unattended for extended periods of time, they will most likely develop objectionable, even destructive, behavior, such as incessant barking, digging, and chewing. Labs, like all dogs, are very social. They want to be a part of the family. So leaving a Lab outside all the time is not a good idea. They want to be inside with you.

Labs love to romp, play and roll. You will find that they actively seek out smelly stuff to roll around in.

Although their coat is relatively short, they shed quite a bit. Labs are not for "neat freaks" who don't want a messy, smelly dog. They are also not the best choice for an inactive, frail, or older person who can't provide the necessary activity for a Lab. A Labrador will want to sleep in the bed with you. So this might not be the animal for you, if you wish to keep some distance between you and the dog.

Labs are best suited for a person or family who has plenty of time to spend with them. The owner or owners should be active and willing to provide the dog with plenty of time and space to run and exercise.

Labs can be good family dogs, but might not be the best choice for a family with very young children. Labs' exuberance may cause unintentional harm to a small child. Labs tend not to understand their own strength, and 2-year-olds tend not to enjoy being bowled over by a big dog.

German Shepherds
German Shepherds are herding dogs (as their name implies). Their historic role was that of watchdog and guard dog. They are strong, alert, very intelligent, fearless, and loyal. German Shepherds are great for companionship, for a role as a working dog (guide dog or law enforcement, for instance), or guardian. These are fairly large dogs that require adequate space and exercise.

This is not the best dog for someone with a shy, hesitant personality. This is not the dog for a home that has limited space or no enclosed yard.

These dogs are great for the person with an active lifestyle. They are great running companions.

They are loyal, protective family dogs that are patient with the pokes and prods of small children, provided the dog is properly trained. Of course, no small child should ever be left unattended with the family pet.

Because German Shepherds have such a strong, resolute personality, you should have an equally assertive approach.

Border Collies
Border Collies are in the herding group of dogs. They have an intense, natural instinct to herd, lead, and control almost anything: sheep, flocks of birds, small children, you name it. Border Collies have an almost endless supply of energy. They demand "work" to do. Because of the characteristics selected over years of breeding, they can be quite independent, which is not always a good thing. And they are master problem-solvers.

This is not a good breed choice for a family with small children. Most assuredly, the Border Collie will try to "herd" the child or children. This can be disconcerting to the child. As a natural part of a Border Collie's behavior, the dog may nip at your child's heels or rump. Most kids will interpret this as an attack, which wouldn't be good.

Border Collies are for the person who wants to dedicate a lot of their time to his or her dog. The Border Collie owner must be able to provide an extended amount of time outdoors, exercising.

Because Border Collies are so smart, the owner needs to be smart, too. These dogs are great for the intellectual person who enjoys solving problems.

This may be a dog for a small family or single person. They tend to bond with a particular person to the exclusion of everyone else.

Dalmatians are a non-sporting breed. They enjoy a lot of attention, and are sensitive to extreme heat and cold. Dalmatians can be "high maintenance." They want to be around people, but don't necessarily want to snuggle. They are not couch potatoes. They can be taught to be good with children, but this requires time and training. Dalmatians have short, beautiful coats, but they shed considerable amounts of hair.

Dalmatians have a genetic predisposition for deafness. It is estimated that 10-to-12 percent of Dalmatians are born with partial or total deafness. Caring for a deaf Dalmatian takes special care and patience. A deaf dog can pose a danger to children. Because they cannot hear you approach them, they can be easily frightened. In most cases, frightened dogs bite. Dalmatians may also tend to strongly protect their territories. So the household that has a lot of people in and out all the time would not be ideal for a Dalmatian.

Bichon Frise
Bichon Frises are a non-sporting breed. They are very social and affectionate, with lively personalities. They are easy to train. They are not "yappers" like other small breeds. Bichons have a thick coat of curly hair that requires considerable grooming. Bichons tend to be good with children, and love being with the family. Because they are a small dog, good play sessions will provide the exercise that they need.

Bichons are good for people with limited space or small apartments. However, the cost of keeping them adequately groomed can be considerable. They should be professionally groomed at least once a month. And it is advisable to brush them daily to prevent matting. Because Bichons don't shed as much as other breeds, they are good for the person who likes a clean, neat environment.

Chihuahuas are in the toy group. They are very alert and expressive, and sometimes aggressive. Don't let their size fool you. These dogs have a lot of confidence!

Of course, Chihuahuas are quite small, with a pretty fragile bone structure. Chihuahuas don't need a lot of outdoor exercising. In fact, a good play session inside should be sufficient for a Chihuahua's needs.

Because they are so small, with a very short coat, they do need to be protected from the cold. A sweater is a big help for a Chihuahua when taken outside. Chihuahuas have a strong will and great sense of loyalty. They are great lap dogs.

Chihuahuas are not ideal for a large family or a family with small children. They don't necessarily like a lot of new people, so they are not great for a very busy household with lots of people coming and going.

Chihuahuas are great for apartment dwellers and single people. They tend to bond strongly with one person in the household. They are great for the person who wants a lap dog and constant companion. But be prepared: Chihuahuas require a long-term commitment. They can live up to 20 years. This is a good dog for the quiet, retiring person who is not necessarily a social butterfly.

These are not the best dogs for a family with small children. Their small frame makes them a candidate for severe injury at the hands of a rambunctious toddler. A Chihuahua will not hesitate to bite if he feels threatened.


Rainbow Bridge Poem

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...


Best Friends

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold streets and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

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